Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who Do You Love Most of All? A Conversation on Self-love

February is often viewed as the month of love and today I want to talk about a love that’s very personal – self-love! I’m also sharing how to use mirror work, one of my favorite self-love practices.

So What Exactly is Self-Love?

Self-love is quite the buzzword nowadays and while many people interchange it with self-care, it’s not quite the same thing.

Self-love is much deeper than just putting on a face mask on a Sunday night. It’s about the relationship you have with yourself. It’s deeply knowing yourself, exploring your thoughts, beliefs, your body, your strengths, your weaknesses and then loving yourself for it all.

Self-love is about seeing your flaws and loving yourself regardless. It’s about cultivating a relationship with yourself, honoring yourself, trusting your intuition and seeing where you are right now and meeting yourself right there with more love and less judgement.

Plus, when we are able to know and love ourselves more, we are able to connect even more deeply with others.

What Self-love is Not

Self-love is not turning a blind eye to all of your faults. It’s actually the opposite. You become more aware of them and because you approach them with love, you might find it is easier to change them, although this is not the goal.

It’s not selfish. When you love yourself more, you become a better version of yourself and that is better for everyone involved. When you work on self-love you might find yourself feeling more kind, patient, positive, empathetic, loving and generous. You don’t have to try to be these things, they’re just a really cool by-product of increased self-love.

How Can We Increase our Self-love?

So, how can we work on self-love? There are a million ways, a million books, a million podcasts etc. on the subject, but I think one of the best ways to start is to really SEE yourself….

Cue Mirror Work

What is mirror work? It’s pretty simple, it’s using a mirror to see yourself and to love yourself.

What you’ll need:

• your cute self
• a mirror (full length mirror is best, but any mirror will do).

There are a few different things you can do with the mirror. Feel free to start with one that resonates with you, no need to do them in the order they are listed.

*** And I know, some of this might sound a little weird, but I encourage you to just try it ***

1. Just Be with Yourself

For this one, spend 10 to 15 minutes just looking at yourself in the mirror with no distractions (no phones, no getting ready, no music, no company etc). We may use a mirror often to apply our makeup, do our hair and check our outfits, but we don’t really see ourselves during these tasks.

Scan Yourself

Take a true look at yourself. What do you see? Who do you see? Take time to look at the things you don’t normally notice. Is there any asymmetry? Scan yourself from head-to-toe. Try not to be judgmental, just present.

Make Lots of Eye Contact

Try to hold your gaze with yourself, they say the eyes are the window to the soul. Really look at yourself. How does this feel? What thoughts come up? Does it feel comfortable or uncomfortable? If you look away, it’s ok, just try to bring it back.

2. Open Eyed, Guided Self-Love Meditation

For this one you’ll sit in front of the mirror and play a self-love meditation. You can find them on you-tube or an app like Insight Timer. Play the meditation, place your hands over your heart, feel your breath come and go, smile at yourself and try to hold your gaze while the words wash over you.

3. Affirmations + Love Notes

This could be as simple as telling yourself “I love you” over and over again (aim for a couple minutes). It could also be another phrase that’s more meaningful to you.

Here are a few examples: “You are enough,” “Your are good,” “You are seen,” “You are beautiful,” “I’m here for you” or “You will be ok.”

Note: When talking to yourself say “you are” instead of “I am.” We tend to believe the things other people say about us more than ourselves, especially if our relationship with ourselves isn’t that strong yet.

4. The Naked Scan

Well you’ve made it this far and I haven’t lost you yet, so here we go! The female body is a piece of art, but us women aren’t always the best at seeing our own body that way.

So step into the nude and take a glance. Tell yourself however you look, you love yourself and just take yourself in. If this feels super awkward to you, you can play some music.

Then What? How Bout Some Journaling

A lot of feelings can come up during some of these exercises and I encourage you to journal about them. You didn’t really think you were going to get through a whole blog post about self-love without me telling you to journal did you? 🙂

But in all seriousness, I think journaling takes the powerful practice of mirror work to the next level. You can read more about why I love journaling here.

Mirror work is just one of the many things you can do for self-love, but I do think it’s a wonderful practice to start with. How do you work on self-love? Also, if you try any of these, I’d love to hear what you thought about it! Shoot me a DM on Insta.

Ok hats off to you boo for getting to the end of this post and for taking the time to invest in yourself, to see yourself and ultimately to love yourself.

Cheers,

If you liked this post you might also like:

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